Giving Thanks and a Few Reflections

Dear all, it's been too long, and hard. Since I started this blog, not so long ago, five of the people on the subscription list have died. Yes, five. Five people I loved, appreciated, held in my heart. I'm grateful to have known them, closely or episodically. The richness of relationship is not something you measure, it's what generates the fabric of existence, this subtle, abstract stuff called love that alights like a feather on top of our biology, and which grows when cultivated. 

I will miss those five people. And I miss those of you I haven't seen you in a while, but please know that you matter to me in a variety of ways, from simple to intricate. I do care, whether you're getting your knee replaced, or going through a work transition, or having difficulties with your partner, or your parent is ailing, or your kid is having a hard time ...  Know that how you go about your lives does have ripples - in my case, of gratitude. 

I've been back in California for a couple of months now, and returning to a more normal level of "excitement." If you are providing care to your elders, please know that I understand exactly how you feel. The days of despair, the sense of obligation, the thankless drudgery - and also the days when things go right, and there's a smile on that elder's face, thanks to you, or just because. Hollywood doesn't like to portray that kind of hero. But that is what heroism is made of: the care without hope of reward. That is what you're doing, day in and day out - better than I am, because you're probably on site and stuck holding the bag. At least I have the benefit of distance ;-) With a very solid system in place, of course. My aunt Mina (who is now an ailing elder as well) used to say: "it's not real generosity if you're not going out of your way." It's a harsh statement, but it rings true at times. 

The Dharma claims that the Universe is made of benevolence. I don't think that's accurate. The Universe, I believe, doesn't care one way or the other, it just follows the music of its own laws. But we and other species have a capacity for benevolence, and we see everyday that benevolence makes a difference in our lives and other people's lives. The invitation is to engage in kindness as much as we possibly can. (I know, this coming from a crabby guy ;-0 ). 

Thanks again for being you and being kind. Happy Thanksgiving or whatever it is you're celebrating out there. May we all enjoy the simple fact of being alive. 

[This is a picture of fake royalty at a Berkeley Rep production of the Magic Flute.]